Presidential Psychologist

You don’t get to choose when a world leader has a breakdown. But you do get to choose how badly you fake your way through it.You are not a licensed psychologist. You barely passed college. You once diagnosed your roommate with “vibes-based burnout.” But thanks to nepotism and a clerical error, you now counsel the President of the Kingdom of Tariffica.His name? The President. His hobbies? Tariffs. Coffee. Having a god complex. His emotional support animal? Himself.And now, for reasons unknown to man or god, he wants therapy. From you.This is a visual novel about talking your way through the most dangerous therapy session in history. You’ll explore deep topics like:Emotional walls guarded by tanksPresidential nightmares about talking catsThe ethics of taxing nostalgiaWhether or not joy should have diplomatic immunityYou’ll lie. You’ll nod. You’ll pray the session ends before he finds out you printed your degree on a pancake.There are eight endings. Some are tragic. Some are romantic. Some involve the president becoming a monk and flying away in Hair Force One.And yes, one of them ends with you being chased out by armed guards.THIS GAME FEATURES: 🧠 Over 10,000 words of therapy-grade nonsense 🎭 8 different endings: betrayal, enlightenment, drugs, love, emotional tariffs, and at least one war crime 💬 A branching story where your lies—uh, “choices”—actually matter 📉 Emotional stability not included 🎧 Full-featured options menu (with working volume sliders! We swear!) 🖼️ 1 extremely judgmental sprite and some backgrounds that may or may not be stock photos 📺 Replay unlocked endings to relive your greatest regretsThis isn’t a story about healing. This isn’t a story about growth. This is a story about winging it so hard you almost fix a nation.Play it alone. Play it with coffee. Play it before the ethics board finds out what you’ve done.